I was a victim to sexual abuse and have been bullied at an earlier age, these traumatic experiences caused me to do inappropriate things to others and allowing others to do inappropriate things to me. I thought I have moved on by burying my past and my pain. I did not realize that I was feeling resentful, grieving, regretful, guilty and ashamed of myself. I used to feel like I was full of sin, I felt like God was disappointed in me and that later on I would eventually go to hell. Ignoring my past and my pain caused me to be the enemy to myself and others. The journey inwards or looking at my reflection helped me see that I was living my life in denial. I thought it was everyone else outside of me that was causing hell in my life; I wanted to get out of bad karma. So I asked myself who is the enemy?How does a person get out of self-hate, pain and suffering? Do we ever truly heal and let go to experience self-liberation? Buddhism and psychology helped me find my true unhurt self again. God woke up inside of me and told me that it was time for me to go on a spiritual journey, this consist of going in then coming out. There are many ways to enlightenment; I used the chakra system to look inside of my soul for answers. I began to see my shadows, and how my buried pain leaked out from my attitude towards myself and others. I also began to see that my thoughts were coming from anger, I was not aware of this until I asked myself who am I? I began to see how negative emotions such as guilt, regrets, resentments, shame and grief were the source of what I was attracting into my life, such as arguments, people, places, things and situations. How I was feeling about myself in my subconscious mind was creating my reality. So I then asked myself, who is the cause of my life experiences, who is the enemy? It must be me not others.