Every year over 1.2 million people from around the world travel to Malta and nearly every one of them is charmed by the islands historic and cultural ambiance. This book however, is not any kind of tourist guide to the Maltese archipelago. Rather, it has been written in mind of the hundreds of people from Britain especially, whom holiday to to Malta every year and become drunk on the idea of year round sunshine and the islands perceived affordability to the extent that they decide to relocate. For what many people whom do relocate often discover, is that life on Malta is far from the idyllic Arcadia which they first supposed. Indeed, for expatriates from around the world, Malta represents discriminatory water and electricity price tariffs, racism, faux piety, and a place where they they will often find themselves cheated by what in many cases seems to be a culturally ingrained corruption.This book has therefore been written so as to draw attention to Maltese social norms and values, ones which often oppose what many might consider civilised. Further, it will suggest with an honest analysis of Maltas 2015 housing market that the country might not be the best place in the world in which to invest in property. Rather however, than attempt to dissuade anyone from relocating or retiring to the islands, this book will simply outline daily life on the islands on as it really is basis and suggest that maybe one tests out life on Malta for a year or two before deciding to move here permanently.