An advanced case of Groganzola, the most dreaded disease in the Universe and destroyer of a million worlds, has been discovered on a remote forgotten planet called Earth. When Lulu finds the key to Earth's survival she knows exactly what to do with it and soon she's on the run and up to her ears in sex zombies, alien hunters, and the king of talk radio, her nemesis since the third grade. He's convinced half the country Lulu's the witch who's causing the world-wide epidemic of nose and elbow mutations and it's time for a public exorcism. Meanwhile, with global warming getting bad fast, an intergalactic maintenance man struggles to find the ancient alien 'transmitter' that will retroactively impose thousands of years of sex education on the human brain. He'll take any help he can get, from prairie dogs to the Pope, but he and Earth are running out of time. What he really needs is a date with Lulu. Warning: These pages reveal the ancient embarrassing secret of greed, fear, and authoritarian power.