Many thousands of depressed people silently attempt suicide every year. This is one survivors expression of her state of mind at the time she thought about and acted on the unthinkable, published with the hope that it may save a life.About the Author: Ruth Carrol Gagné Chan lost her mother to suicide at the age of nine. Her father’s death occurred three days after her seventeenth birthday. Her only sibling committed suicide in 1963. Her firstborn son dove in front of a car in 1983. Two grandchildren have died by suicide. Ruth attempted suicide twice; the first attempt she survived was in 1963, a few weeks after losing her sister Gloria, giving birth alone to her sixth child, and receiving a letter from her husband and the father of her six children saying he never loved her and was leaving her and the kids. The events described above in her own words are the last time she attempted to take her life; she has successfully won many battles with depression and thoughts of suicide with a solemn promise that she will never again take her life. At the time of this publication, she is 81 years old and lives in a skilled nursing facility of her choosing near the youngest of her eight children. Readers interested in reading more about her life in her own words can find her journal online, titled, “Sweetly Undauntable: A Mother’s Legacy”.