The authors are former paralegals, ABA accredited law school graduates, and practicing attorneys confounded by the way that the legal system works and trapped by massive debt. Though neither of us is horribly dissatisfied with the way our careers turned out, we would like to impart satirical wisdom for those coming up the ranks today, to tell those folks what we wish we would have been told. (And tell some things again and again, so the law school prospect can remove her rose colored glasses and see law school and the practice of law for what it really is.) Further, Blackstone is both a law professor and former law school administrator, so he can shed even more light – and do so, no punches pulled – on the law school application and admissions processes.It may go without saying that some of the information we are relaying is obvious, such as the skewed admissions process and shark-like inappropriate attorney behavior. However, we start from square one, the Law School Admission Council (in conjunction with the American Bar Association), and expose as many truths as we can in the most humorous way possible, with cartoons, commentary, and anecdotes, and finish with a “full-Monty” review of the work world with special attention paid to female attorneys. What may astound the reader is that every story we incorporate is as true as we know them to be, from tales of law firm sex and drugs all the way down to what an average law school applicant really looks like.In the end, after the reader wipes the tears of laughter from his face, the message that we hope the reader will take with him is that becoming an attorney is a very, very expensive process that may cost more than $150,000, three years of your life, and a number of years at a firm working around miserable people, if you can even get a job. You may lose your spouse, your friends, and your dignity. If this is the career path for you, here is what you need to know to go in with eyes and arms open wide. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!