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Afraid, eyes seeing what was not there, contemplating divorce, battered, torn between decisions, children running the streets, one child pregnant, confusedyes, I was on an emotional roller coaster. All these decisions and situations were haunting me at the same time. I did not understand how God could allow so much to happen to me when my only desire was to serve him. The world of depression renders a totally different outlook on life. You are not sure of where you are, how you got there, or where you are going. It is a devastating experience that engulfs you from the inside out. You are trapped within yourself, and the battle is a constant one that never seems to cease or to give you any relief. The tension is real. You feel as though you are being twisted, and you have no control of the crank. Please journey with me as I take you through the most horrific yet rewarding experience of my life.