My personal story about how I got started drinking at age nine, had my first blackout age 14, kept on drinking hard, always to get drunk, got into drugs in college and finally bottomed out in 1977. How drinking negatively affected my life but also how it helped me as a coping mechanism with pain, and horrible abuse in and outside the home throughout childhood and into teenage years. I was born intersexed due to a genetic condition, knew I was a boy but was raised female and hated it and hated my life. I was frustrated and had few options, alcohol was one of those options when my dad gave me my first drink at age 9. It was part of the culture.
I grew up on a small family farm in Minnesota and my dad drank often he was what you call a functional alcoholic. Mother was the family controller. Alcohol was a problem on both sides of the family. I was also abused by a local and regional cult as well as incest and physical abuse. My grandmother and the animals on the farm as well as nature saved my life and sanity.
At the end of my using days I was combining alcohol and drugs often driving in blackouts. I was terribly lonely, in emotional pain that was so bad I recall at the end saying as I smoked my seven bongs took pills and drank several Harvey Wall bangers......I just can't get far enough away from this pain.
I got help and after a voluntary intervention on January 17, 1977 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I had a powerful Spirital Experience while alone in my lousy cheap apartment and the drive to do drugs was removed I talk about this in this story and about two years later in June 1979 I had another powerful Spiritual experience and the drive to do alcohol was removed. I have been continuously clean and sober ever since. The ride has been a rough one, I lost all family members abandoning me except my grandmother who came to outpatient treatment as my family concerned person driving four hours to Minneapolis in winter, to be with me at my side. She stood by me until her death in 1983 she knew I was different but we had no name for intersexed. I have done whatever I have needed to do to stay clean and sober, making many amends, dealing with a lot of pain, emotions, paying off my debts, becoming an artist, doing some teaching part time, and changing over the years coming to accept my own self being at peace with myself.
I found a way out. I am sharing it with you. There is a a Power greater than addictions and greater than alcohol. A power that helps me live life with no family because they can't handel who I am. A Power that cares about me and loves and accepts me for who I am. I paint guardian angels, teach, do art, get my bills paid and help others.
I have a website and share my beautiful art. Beauty can come out of darkness. www.jaykylepetersen.com