The alleyway behind Guthrie's mercantile store and Fast Eddie's motorcycle shop is probably the last place you would ever expect to see the Light of the Lord. But that's where Abraham and Shorty, two hard-drinking hoboes, come face to face with it during one of their celebrations of life. The unsettling event happens shortly after they find themselves drawn to the small town of Midvale in the bible belt of the Midwest. The party is well under way at the time of the appearance. The two men have a couple of bottles of wine happily warming their innards and blurring their minds when the great light with a rumbling voice blossoms through the brick wall and tells them how displeased it is with their actions.
"Cleanse yourselves," it orders then promptly melts back into the wall leaving the newly acquainted buddies alone and bewildered and trying hard to figure out why the Lord would be singling them out.
The light is the method that Host, God's right hand man, chooses to set up the miracle he has been put in charge of introducing to the world. Abraham and Shorty are the two earthly emissaries God assigns to help Host complete the task. But in the beginning stages, Abe and Shorty are literally in the dark. They don't know anything about the plan. All they know is that a tremendous light, which they suspect is God, has told them to get themselves cleaned up. They take that to mean a shower and a change of clothes which they get busy on taking care of right away.
They are back in the Lord's alley a few nights later, sober, bathed and sporting a new set of clothes from the Salvation Army store. They are feeling good about themselves and ready to show God how well they have followed his orders.
"Do ya think we ought to tell Him we're ready?" Shorty whispers as they sit in the dark alley waiting for the Lord to smile down on them.
"Maybe we should, seeing as how we didn't have an appointment and all," Abe answers.
"How do you think we ought to do it?"
"I guess we just call out."
"That ought to work," the little Irishman agrees.
Having decided on the approach, in unison, they make the call, "Oh, Lord, we're here."
When that doesn't bring the Light of the Lord, they raise their voices and yell it out again, "We're here, Lord!"
The light flashes on after a moment or two but it's not the Lord's light, it's the twin beams of the local law's flashlights that come racing down the alley. Within minutes, the two godforsaken vagrants are being hauled off to spend the rest of the night in jail.
And that is just the beginning of the troubles our two newly appointed apostles have in store for them as Host goes about finalizing the arrangements and getting the miracle up and running. The little town of Midvale, and the world for that matter, will never be the same.