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There are family outings you can avoid: stuff like visiting your neighbour in hospital after he's had a massive pimple surgically removed, or even something as exciting and important as a car trip to the chemist to pick up Dad's long-term prescription for fungus cream. But in the family rule book, scribed in the blood of our ancestors, it clearly states that there are some journeys you must undertake. They are 100 per cent compulsory. No get-out-of-jail-free card can be handed over in exchange for an 'I'll just stay home thanks, Mum.' No, my friends. These are the car trips, bus rides, plane journeys, visits, overnight stays and holidays that you simply cannot possibly escape. These are the UFO's – Unavoidable Family Outings. The type of experiences that will be harder to bear than a month of detentions sitting next to the stinky kid.