"So, did we win the big game?"
I shrugged and Sandy blurted, "Who the f**k cares? All I know is that I’m hornier than a nymph in a convent.
Malia stiffened. "Jesus, Sandy is sex all you think about?"
"Yeah, from what I’ve been able to determine it’s the best thing going. What’s the matter? I thought you liked sex, too."
"Of course I do, I just don’t perseverate on it."
Sandy’s brow dipped low. "Persever…what?"
Malia rolled her eyes. "Perseverate. It means dwell on and sex is all you think and talk about."
"Well, next time say that. We don’t all read the dictionary when we go to the toilet."
"Sandy!" I leaned into her space. "That’s enough ladies. You’re creating a spectacle. What’s the matter anyway? Isn’t Rod’s rod taking care of you anymore?
Before Sandy could answer, Malia turned to me and cattily explained, "Haven’t you heard, Rod’s rod is taking care of Gwen Shipman, now.
My mouth dropped open. "No!" Feeling sympathetic, since the exact same thing happened to me last month, I turned to Sandy. "You broke up with Rod?"
A tear formed in her eye "No, it was the other way around. The idiot was screwing’ me and Gwen at the same time and I told him to pick one of us."
Malia’s smile was impish. "And guess who he picked."
"Shut up, Lia. I just hope the bastard doesn’t show up here with that bitch on his arm and embarrass me." Sandy chugged the rest of her beer and set the can down. "Do you realize this is the first time since we’ve known each other that none of us are involved?"
Sipping her wine again, Malia then lit a cigarette. "So?"
"So, we should celebrate."
Malia snickered. "We are celebrating. We’re at a Phi Delta Upsilon party."
"No, I mean really celebrate."
I offered my champagne glass for a toast. "To men. May their pride turn green, shrivel up and fall off."
Falling back into the couch, Malia howled with laughter. "Cindy you are such a kick."
But Sandy didn’t think it was funny. "Are you kidding? D*cks are the only thing that’s good about men."
"I agree," added Malia.
Feeling a little tipsy from four and a half flutes of bubbly, I made a wicked suggestion. "Then that’s how we should celebrate."
Their interest was obvious. "How?" both girls queried.
I glanced around to make sure no one paid us any attention, then spoke sotto voce, so no one else could hear, "We find a d*ck connected to moderately attractive guy, take him to our apartment and bang his lights out."
Malia backed away, placed her hand to her sizable chest and gasped. "Ooh, I don’t think I could do that."
"That’s a effing, great idea, excuse the adjective, great. Why can’t you do that, Lia? Afraid you might perseverate on a man’s anatomy?"
Malia swallowed. "I could do the deed all right, but with you two watching? I don’t know."
"That’s one of the things that would make it fun," I opined, "Keep drinking. The idea will grow on you."