HOW DETRIMENTAL IS living in fear, segregated, trodden, almost discarded by society? I shouldnt use such terrible words; well, guess what? Ive learned to live with it for the past year, more or less; Im no longer keeping track of time. I could blame the ones who degraded me, with or without intentions, but sadly, and with tremendous courage, I can only blame myself. I can only blame the terrible choices Ive made, and day after day I can only find the strength to survive, to live with hope, to get better, so that I can preserve my dignity. This journal was not intended for any purpose, probably it shouldnt even be read; it was only meant to be written. Its a disturbing chronicle; a life that is slowly slipping away, deteriorating—perhaps. Its about self-respect. Hopefully I shall not bore you with any cathartic effect, because it would not be my intention.