Being Born was my only crime Memories of childhood, of youth, of now...why am I continuously being afflicted, scorn, rejected, tormented and outcast. Before knowing pain and affliction was a way of life for me, I was already experiencing it. Why? What was I to learn from pain and suffering? Why was pain and suffering necessary for me? My God, My God, where are Thou? I want to be Wise I want to be Free I want to be Real I want to be Me Why does it cost so much to want what should benatural and simple. A human right! What pleasure or rewardis there in suffering? A parent gets no satisfaction from watching their children suffer. How then would God do nothing while watching his creation suffer and he being God is able to stop us from suffering. We are less than God and we would stop our children from suffering. Something is very wrong with our teaching of God. Was religion simply a slave tactic to control slaves? After doing all that you were taught, praying, fasting, attending church, letting go of worldly things, (smoking, drinking, etc.) and habits (going out partying, etc.), yet trouble continue. It brings you to one conclusion. What have I done? Only one answer. Born ToLose! Born Calvinina Williams in Shreveport, LA, in the summer of 1950. My parents relocated to Houston, TX, in the fall of 1951. After being raised exclusively in Houston, at age 40, I relocated to California's Bay Are, (Northern California), where I remain.